Been feeling pretty low and cluttered as of late so on Sunday I shut my phone off and deactivated my Facebook... my poor family have to email me to get in contact... But sometimes there's just so much going on and so many distractions that you lose yourself and then when you realise that you've neglected your happiness worrying about others you just have to step back and slow everything down and fix what's within my control. That's how I feel anyway. And I have to say, blocking myself from the external world has sort of given me a release, like, I feel free.. I realise it's a little inconvenient for those trying to contact me but right now I have to re-focus.. do things I've loved but haven't done for a while, be really present in each moment and just remember the sort of person I am...
Today has been good. I woke up and decided I was going to control how my day goes and I've been pretty good at keeping myself within stable parameters... At the train station this morning, a big freight train went past and instead of shutting it out and retreating into my thoughts, I listened. All the clinks and the rhythm changes, the grinding of metal on metal and the different sounds it made.. it was oddly refreshing... and as it completely past what was left was the sweet twittering and singing of the birds.. all different sorts of birds, different sounds..
So here I sit at my desk, cluttered with different coloured paper cranes, in my pantyhose and open toe shoes like a nanna, excited to be about to truly live in each moment, ready to change, and turn that frown upside down :) xx
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