I don't even know where to begin.. my thoughts are all jumbled and I've got some serious thinking and intense research to do.. I just had lunch with a friend who had a "business proposition" for me which I'm completely considering but very very cautious and anxious/unsettled about.
My friend (let's call him Fred) has a neighbour, Vietnamese couple, "great people", who are having trouble conceiving. Because they don't know many people and are quite close with Fred and his family they asked him whether he knew anyone who would consider donating an egg to help them fall pregnant.. so he asked me.
After the initial processing took place (it took several moments and a few "wow's" "ummm's" and "gee's") about a gazillion questions popped up in my head:
Do I want to inadvertently have a child?
How does it work? Do they inject my egg into her? Does this sort of make me a surrogate mother?
Am I expected to be in the child's life?
Do I want to be in the child's life?
How do I feel about someone else claiming the child as their own?
What will I feel towards the child?
Are there risks?
Is the couple nice?? What if they're horrible?
What if, when the child grows up they want to meet me, what will it be like, what will I do? What if I find out they had a terrible childhood? I'll feel guilty.
What are the church's views on this? Will it affect my mission preparation?
How attached will I be to this baby?
The thing is, I think I want to do it but I'm so hesitant, this is a huuuuuuuuuge decision, one that can't be made because of money offerings. It's a big deal, emotion is involved. I want to help them. I just don't know how comfortable I am with it yet. I suppose a lot of comfort will come from further knowledge of the process and getting to know the couple.
I reeeeally want to help them but I can't rush into this.
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2 comments:
This is so interesting mama Heidelz. and crazy?!!
Have you seen 'The Kids are Alright'? I wouldnt recommend it because it pretty much deserves it's R rating - but - same deal. sort of. Les couple get sperm and when its legal for the kids to find out who is their dad (age 16 in america) they want to find out. and he's awkward (Mark Ruffalo) but does in fact become apart of their lives to the bitter disappointment of one of their mums.anyway
If it's helping people, surely it's a good thing. Perhaps talk with your bish about it regarding mish pre- cause I got no idea about that.
But how insanely cool. virgin mother. but not. but still sort of yes...
Also- the fact that these people assumedly live in Melbourne right?- would mean that surely you'd be tempted to see the child. In which case, like you said, perhaps there would be some sort of attachment. I dunno. What do I know.
I still think its awesome.
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