Read between the lines.

Why do people say what they mean in a way where they aren't saying what it means when they say it? You don't usually think about it, but when you do you have to read between the lines. It's a risk factor for reading too much and/or reading too less into things.

I'm talking about social politeness and cover up phrases here. I myself like to call these "throw away phrases". For example:

"We should catch up some time"

Vague. Non-committal. Nice-to-see-you-again-but-my-life-didn't-change-without-you. Socially polite and a way of saying thankyou for filling in my usually mentally blank time during my train ride home. There are no real intentions to put in effort and organise a "catch up", it's just something you say.

RULE:
It should only be used by old friends or acquaintances from a past shared era not by someone you hardly know wherein "catching up" (on a whole lifetime of experiences to that current moment?? don't be silly) is irrational. When used in this context, "we should catch up some time" really means, "we should go on a date some time" or along those lines.

Here's another:

"hanging out/chilling"

Well yeah sure, let's hang out, as long as it's just HANGING OUT and not a cover up for a date because when I think it's just chillin' with a G and am putting in no efforts to impress, unbeknownst to little me the G is actually preying, there can be some awkward moments (including but not limited to the excess of personal questions asked, a lack of crap talking, the obvious attempt at trying to develop a deep conversation and the exchange of "funny" looks when you don't linger in the passenger seat longer than necessary).

Again, vague. Sneaky way of getting the equivalent of a date. Used to not show over-platonic interest in a person.


So why don't we say what we mean and mean what we say?

Mostly to avoid over exposure.