On the weekend I:

• discovered meat makes me physically disgusted
• only rode European cars
• drew a picture to tip a waiter
• had an Asain photo shoot 
• got kissed by a homeless guy
• got a rose from an alcoholic/junkie Phil
• spoke to slightly scary junkie Phil for over an hour
• had a pool-cleaner-tasting piece of cake
• got let down by Savers
• went pole dancing
• went to Little Italy
• lap-danced in a park
• got into an organic/vegan v carnal debate
• had a soy gelati
• went to church to repent for any shady weekend frivolities
• had tim tam slams (I was a bad vegan/organic)
• played charades
• got squished on a couch in between 7 screaming girls trying to look sexy for the camera
• got a haircut
• played a tribal chief, sleazy American footballer, interrogater, Next Top Model judge, plastic surgeon and Lebo from Broady.

Today I am broke, buggered and my body is as stiff as a board!