Seriously.

What is it with oldies trying to be hip?? It's like, the older they get, they harder they try and be "down with it". Like iphones to ipads (mind you, they can barely see the text on "the jolly thing") to knowing who Lady Gaga is to having Facebook to using LOL (mum, dad - writing LOL on bills, catalogues and notes to us... well, lol but no).

No. Just no. It's not cool, it's alarming.

How about dad this morning in the car talking about a karaoke style music track having a "mean trumpet". Or last night, when something was "hardout"... I don't even talk like that. The only people I hear talk like that are a distinct 10 shades darker than him (not being racist, just realist) and about 40 years his junior. Clearly, he's been... well I don't know, I don't know where he's been or the crowd he's been hanging out with.. but a 62 yr old, balding man who wears his trousers above his belly button and can safely be called a dork.. well the imagery is a bit contradictory isn't it?

I'm not just taking a stab at poor ol' pops though, it seems to be an upward trend in the older generations. I saw a granny on her iphone on Facebook on the train a few months ago.. reading her news feed like it was the newspaper. I don't even have an iphone. I barely use Facebook these days. Hellooooo, isn't it her responsibility to be the cuddly-gran-in-her-apron-and-hair-rollers-baking-cookies-and-knitting-beanies-for-her-grandkids community representative? Instead of posting "lol @ ur bday pics dear" on walls?

Have we reached the age where oldies conform to the newest trend quicker than young ones?

When I grow old, just sayin', I'll be demanding my rights to finding the news out from the newspaper rather than my newsfeed. Imma take full pleasure in using phrases like "Jiminy Crickets!" and "Heaven forbid"... I'll probably insist on wearing slippers all day too instead of chucks.. but most likely because I'll have bunions by then and a tendency to stay indoors...

Just because I feel like I haven't complained enough lately..

What is the POINT in being sister to a "rockstar" (pffft) if I can't even score free tickets to his own bloomin' show?! I had to purchase, PURCHASE, tickets using my hard-earned-sweat-on-brow l'argent. There is something very wrong here. Indeed.

I want to speak to Management.

Whatta mad dog.

I went to my sister's house tonight for dinner, and my brother-in-law Bryce took me for a spin on his motorbike. That's right guys, his big, black, sexy Harley Davidson. And for a moment, I felt like a legit bikie chick in a harley leather jacket, face mask, helmet, glasses and leather gloves. If we could just take a moment now to picture this and appreciate the moment I had please?

It was sooooo... exhilarating, amazing, exciting, thrilling, adrenalating etc etc.. It was like, one moment we're going around round abouts and i'm scared that if we lean just a little bit more we could fall off, and the next moment we're gearing up hills or racing down the freeway, my eyes watering against the wind that has pushed past my eye wear, and then the next moment my butt is banging against the seat as we ride down a bumpy rode at 110kms.

And the inertia? amazing.

Yep. I'm pretty much gonna get me one of them.

light in dark :)

Whilst insomnia haunted me last week (and this week still), rather than lay in bed cursing the active voice in my head but fatigued body I decided to have a midnight snoop around my house. Lo and behold, what do I find but a set of top secret government (ASIO) documents and fake passports... no, not really, not at all. I found a journal my parents wrote in when we were little with a bunch of loose documents sitting adhoc in its pages. It was fascinating reading stories about the start of the family and I felt a little affectionate swell as I read about their descriptions/comments about each of us children. So tender.

Things I learned:

1. My parents were always waaaaaaaaaaay spiritual.
2. Papa took me to see Luciano Pavarotti in concert when I was 3.
3. Papa used to do a bit of local radio work.
4. Mama bear insisted on finishing baking bread after her water broke before she went to the hospital to have me.
5. My older sibs did love me once... jokes. they never did. jokes again.

oh and I found this amongst various pictures and notes us kiddies drew/wrote to our parents over the young years :)

That mother of mine is secretly getting botox or something, I swear.

Women of class

Late last year it was my beautiful sister Leilani's 33rd birthday and what better way to celebrate 33 years of being a live fem than to flaunt it. In the most nutty way possible. So she themed her birthday "Mad Hatter's Tea Party" with an invite that went something like this:

MAD HATTERS TEA PARTY

YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO ATTEND A VERY UNEVEN BIRTHDAY!! SO BRING YOUR BEST TEA CUP AND FILL IT WITH PUNCH! IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT DATE SO DON'T BE LATE AND WE'LL ENJOY SOME MADNESS & FUN...BUT BEWARE ITS DRESS UP AND IF YOU'RE ABSENT MINDED AND FORGET YOUR ATTIRE IT WILL BE OFF WITH YOUR HEAD OR OUT THE DOOR!!


Dress Up Theme: Sexy, Psycho, Mad mother effkin Biartches!! Dress Up attendees only - Ladies of their loins
Mood: Crazy.
Intention: Fun!!
Invited: Girls only. Alcoholics. Those ready to PARTAY only!! Private party. No males, child free!!
What to bring: your sexy ass, a tea cup and sleeping gear if you're joining the slumber party after..


So naturally, as you can imagine, things went down. Let's just say being the only sober person there was high-larious.
So in the country (Gisbourne to be precise), with ladies of their loins, intoxication round about and fem bogans, these are a snippets of the night...

Birthday girl (she has her motorbike license. what a mad dog.)

                                                             

Aunty Wendy

all my sisters :)

And I'll just stop there.

They get far too raunchy.