Yes we do love our Asain photo booths, we do.

Anna and I having our much needed girl date :)

                                          

Jasmine.

Last night we talked. We walked and we talked about him, life, love and ourselves. But mainly we spoke about Jake and you opened up, how much you love him and need him. The things he would do for you and say to you. The texts he would send but get all shy when you asked him to say them to your face. We acknowledged that it's always easier writing your true feelings rather than saying them. The more raw your feelings, the harder it is to say them...

That's why I'm writing this post to you Jasmine. I'm pouring what's real and close to my heart onto the keyboard because it's easier saying it in my head than to your face. But if I've learnt anything this weekend and from this tragedy it's to let those dearest to you know how you feel about them. So this is it:

I believe wholeheartedly that you need Jake and that you want to be with him where he is but I need you. I need you to talk to, to cry with, I need you to egg me on when I'm being inappropriate, I need you to tease me when I do things out of character. I need you to throw my advice back at me. I need you to be the little sister that needs me. I need you to keep all my secrets, to listen to all my insecurities and not laugh at them, I need you to give me advice in the areas you know I have less experience with, matters of the heart.

I need you to give me some of your pain, to take my strength and use it to combat this heartache.

Jake hasn't left you, he's in your heart. But you're here with me, with your mother, your sister, your family and everyone else who loves you and needs you. And you're in our heart.

You are a devastatingly beautiful spirit and one of the core people in my life. I love you baby girl.

This is for Jake. RIP.

 

It's an Epidemic.

Just breathe.

In the past 3 weeks, I've said four goodbyes. Two funerals and two mission goodbyes. In the last year I've said an additional seven. Don't get me wrong, I know it's only goodbye for now but they still suck. I will very much and already do miss every single one of them. I know they're all in a better place doing great things and I'll see them again but it still makes me sad.

What's even worse is the goodbye's haven't finished. Another mission call has come, he's leaving me in late January and my best friend is waiting patiently by the mail box for his.

And please, no more funerals.

Just breathe.